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Wisconsin Family Law Articles

Creating a Healing Place After Divorce

After the divorce papers are signed, and everything becomes final, the case activity stops, and your post-divorce life begins.  While the stress of property division or child custody battles may be over, it's important to check on your emotional state. Being focused on the family law process may have served as a distraction from painful emotions but, when everything ends, feelings such as loss, anger, and grief can be overwhelming. While it can be a long road, there are steps you can take to care for yourself and heal after your divorce.

Be Careful with Your Self Talk

What we tell ourselves can be become locked in our minds and self-perception. After the divorce, you may believe that you have failed or that some of the unkind things your ex said about you are correct. Thoughts like these can become repetitive negative self-talk where you continue to blame yourself.  If you are not careful, you can end up accepting these hurtful comments as true. Try need to be conscious of your thoughts and make a real effort to avoid saying cruel things to yourself.

Keep the Right Company

Whom you choose to spend time with usually has a direct impact on your mood and sense of well-being. You need to be around those who genuinely care about you and have your best interest at heart. By keeping a positive support system, you will have people in your life who can offer insight, empathy, and kindness when you need it the most.

Take a Break from Social Media

While social media can be a great way to stay connected with loved ones, it can also be anxiety-provoking and painful for someone who has just gone through a divorce. When looking around on these forums, it is easy to accidentally, or not so accidentally, to see or post something about your ex. Looking at seemingly happy images, and information displayed there can make you feel bad about your situation. Further, anyone can become depressed after looking at too much negative commentary online. Disengaging from social media can provide you with a more peaceful environment while you get some distance from your ex and the divorce.

Be Patient with Yourself

While your divorce may have seemed to drag on forever, the end of the case does not mean you will be automatically over it. Each divorce is as unique as those involved. There is not a set formula for when you should be done having intense feelings or grieving what has been lost. Take the time you need, move at your own pace, and don’t feel pressured to be a certain point in your healing.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

Understanding and processing your divorce can be challenging to do on your own. The supportive and balanced viewpoint of a trained therapist can be a tremendous help to someone who is trying to recover from this experience.  When you have a safe and therapeutic space, you can express your feelings without judgment and learn coping mechanisms which can help you move toward acceptance and healing.

We understand how difficult recovering from divorce can be and can help you connect with resources which will support your emotional health and healing. Please call us today to set up a time to meet.

For help regarding your post-divorce situation, contact Karyn Youso, the Wisconsin family law attorney and mediator with over 27 years of experience.