Don’t "waste" money fighting in divorce
You have probably heard phrases like "you get what you pay for" and "you want more; you pay more." Although paying for more services may be beneficial in some situations, the same is not always true when it comes to divorce. Some people want to fight one another during every stage of the case. Unfortunately, this approach is usually expensive and the benefits don’t often outweigh the costs. Ultimately, it’s best if you don’t “waste” money fighting in divorce.
Knowing When it’s Time to Fight
One mistake people make is using the divorce process to try and get justice for their ex's wrongdoing. If your ex left you for someone else, was abusive, or hurt you in another way, it's understandable that you would feel angry, betrayed, and victimized. You may feel like you are not responsible for the divorce and that your ex should have to pay for all of the pain they have caused you. The problem is that the law does not support this approach, and your legal bills will escalate as they keep up with your emotional pain.
It may temporarily make you feel better to make your ex's life harder through the case, but this small victory will soon fade, and you will be left not only with the pain that you already felt, but also the compounded costs of your legal matter. The cycle can repeat itself over and over until your case finally ends in divorce. Afterward, you would only have a more significant legal bill to show for all of your efforts.
There may be some issues worth contesting, and you and your family law attorney should discuss these matters. However, if most of your disputes concern things that could be resolved without fighting, your efforts are probably not worth the costs.
Getting Caught Up in the Moment
Being in a divorce case requires you to keep your mind in two places at once. On the one hand, you have to be aware of what is happening in the present moment to make decisions. On the other hand, the choices you make will impact your life for years to come. When a case is contentious, it can seem impossible to remain calm and consider how your actions will affect you after the case is over.
As difficult as it may be, it's crucial to be mindful of issues such as retirement, savings, college accounts, and setting up your new home on a single income. Don't let a few moments of anger rob you of the funds you will need for your future. Rather than over-reacting to your ex by filing an unnecessary motion hearing, take a moment and consider the income you will need later on. You and your attorney can work together to develop ways to manage your case with your overall long-term financial health in mind. By shifting your perspective from being focused on getting even with or punishing your ex, to investing in yourself and your future, you may find that it’s easier to lower the conflict and reach a smarter outcome.