Common Mistakes During Divorce and How to Avoid Them
Divorce is an area of the law which takes very personal details of a couple's life through an impersonal legal process. During that time, both people can be emotionally fragile and volatile towards one another. Amid the chaos, each person is going to have to make decisions which will impact them for the rest of their lives. When you have to make rational choices during such an emotional time, it can be easy to make wrong moves. Hopefully, by knowing some of the most common mistakes during divorce, you can avoid making them:
When you are going through a divorce because your ex left or had an affair, it can feel like you should get everything you want: After all, it wasn’t your choice to destroy the marriage, right? While there may be a limited argument for you to be awarded more of your joint assets if your ex misused your marital funds, Wisconsin law requires that property and debts of the marriage be divided more or less equally. If you have children together, the fact that your spouse had an extramarital relationship or left you will not necessarily impact his or her custody and placement rights. You need to go into this process with a realistic idea of what you can expect to happen. Otherwise, you may end up devoting energy, time, and money fighting for things you will never get.
When a marriage ends, both sides can be bitter, resentful, and angry with one another. It can also be disempowering to have to fight with your ex for the home and property you have worked your whole adult life to acquire. One mistake people make is using the divorce as a platform for taking revenge on their former spouse. In the end, no matter how much you fight and try to hurt one another, there are no winners in divorce. Often both parties walk away feeling they gave up more than expected and did not get everything they wanted. In fact, that is usually the case.
Even if you feel that you successfully punished your ex during the divorce, you will be standing in the same negative place when the case is over. Do your best to be reasonable and recognize that the law is focused on equity, not punishment.
Using Your Children Against Each Other
There can be casualties in any divorce, but when children are involved, the emotional consequences for them can last a lifetime. Your kids can easily get caught up in the crossfire between you and your ex. While you may disagree regarding some issues when it comes to raising them, you can help protect your children by agreeing to keep them out of your disputes. If you are fighting with one another, keep your arguments away from them and out of their hearing, and always refrain from disparaging the other parent to your children. Your kids need you to be the kind of parents who love them enough not to put them in the middle.
At First Look Family Law, Attorney and mediator Karyn Youso understands the pain of divorce and how easy it can be to make critical mistakes. Call us today to set up a consultation and allow us to take a “first look” at your case and help you figure out the right next steps to take.