5 Signs You Might be Ready for a Divorce
When the idea of divorcing your husband or wife first enters your mind, it can be disorienting. For some, it may start as an occasional thought that becomes more frequent over time, while for others, it may be ever-present. Thinking about ending your marriage is one thing, but actually being ready to begin the process is another. Each person's situation is unique, and you will have to contemplate matters in your own way. However, if you’ve tried counseling unsuccessfully, there may be some indications that it's time to move forward. Here are 5 signs you might be ready for a divorce:
1. Trust has Been Irreparably Broken
The foundation of most intimate relationships is trust and mutual respect. When partners stop being honest with one another, and deceit is uncovered, it can be difficult to rebuild trust. The dishonesty could involve one partner’s excessive spending habits, one lying to the other about an addiction, or even something as devastating as an affair. While some couples work past significant betrayals and trust issues, not every relationship can. Moving forward in a relationship when trust has been broken requires a substantial commitment by both partners. If you and/or your spouse are not willing to change your behaviors and confront the issues, it may be time to leave the relationship.
2. You Avoid Being in Your Own Home
When a couple is no longer able to communicate effectively, sharing a home can be grueling. There may be constant fighting or oppressive silences that can make living together unbearable. These conditions may lead you to find more and more reasons to work late, visit friends, shop, go to the gym, or do anything else that keeps you from having to spend time at home. You should be able to enjoy sharing your living environment with your partner, and spending your time and energy avoiding them is not sustainable. If you are coming up with more and more reasons to be away from your home and spouse, it may be time to re-examine your situation and consider making changes.
3. Your Arguments are not Productive
Being in a marriage doesn’t mean you won’t disagree with or argue with your spouse. But when couples fight, ideally they will be able to resolve their differences and grow closer from the experience. However, some arguments are not about two people getting closer to each other and gaining perspective. Instead, they are pointless exchanges where each person tosses hurtful comments and accusations at one another. Each person often remains focused on asserting his or her point of view rather than solving the problem. When there is a never-ending cycle that leaves both participants exhausted, wounded, and resentful, the best thing may be for both people to end the argument by walking away from the marriage.
4. You Are Ready to Move On
While it may sound simple, there may come the point when you feel like you are no longer in the right place, and you are ready to move on. Being prepared will look different for everyone. There is a certain emotional threshold each of us must reach to be prepared to make a significant decision. When it comes to divorce, being ready requires some practical considerations, such as being financially able to provide for your own needs. Having a plan regarding where you will live, how you will pay for your expenses, and what you want your life to look like after divorce is a crucial part of being ready to move forward. One of the best ways to evaluate your circumstances and develop a plan is by working with an experienced family law attorney. Your counsel can help you consider different aspects of your life as you determine your next steps.
5. You Can Envision Yourself Happier Apart
In some cases, recognizing that you are ready to file for divorce can be a gradual process. What may start as an abstract concept can take shape over time. If you find at some point that you believe you would be happier by no longer being married, it may be time to take action.
Attorney Karyn Youso of First Look Family Law in Brookfield, WI has extensive experience helping clients evaluate their circumstances and understand the choices available to them. Come in and let's take a "first look" at your situation so you can figure out your next steps.