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3 Things You Can Today do to Reduce Conflict in Your Divorce

3 Things You Can Today do to Reduce Conflict in Your Divorce

Divorce can be an incredibly stressful process, especially when you and your ex disagree about multiple major issues. During the process, there can be numerous opportunities to have conflict with your former spouse. However, fighting with your ex may end up prolonging and complicating your case. The good news is that there are ways to minimize disputes and tension during your Wisconsin divorce.

Here are three things you can do to reduce conflict in your divorce:

  • Recognizing that Divorce is not About Justice or Blame

Like marriage, divorce can be complicated. Relationships can end for a variety of complex reasons, and it's not uncommon for one or both parties to feel like they have been wronged. This can be especially true when a divorce occurs following an affair or abuse. Spouses may also feel the divorce is because of the other person's selfish or neglectful behavior. These and other circumstances can lead to feelings of powerlessness. Some people make the mistake of seeing their divorce as a way to regain power, establish blame, or get justice for past wrongdoing. Taking this approach generally leads to increased conflict and case complications.

One way to help reduce conflict is by recognizing the purpose and reality of divorce. Wisconsin is a no-fault divorce state, meaning the parties will not need to prove fault to obtain a divorce. Divorce is a legal process that provides a means for two people to divide their assets and decide how they will co-parent their children. These decisions are not about establishing culpability or providing either party with a sense of justice.

  • Developing Realistic Expectations

Some people enter into the divorce process with unrealistic expectations. This usually occurs when the individual is unfamiliar with the process. For example, if you have minor children, it's generally not reasonable to seek primary custody and placement when the other parent is safe and appropriate. Additionally, asking for long-term alimony/maintenance when you have been working and are capable of supporting yourself may not be realistic. Likewise, asking the court to impose specific restrictions on the other parent’s conduct may be unreasonable without hard facts warranting such an ask.

It’s important to understand what a Wisconsin divorce court can and cannot grant under the law. Further, certain facts will impact how custody and property decisions are made. The best way to get the information you need to develop realistic expectations is by consulting with an experienced Wisconsin divorce attorney. Your divorce lawyer can help you evaluate your circumstances and understand how the law will apply to your case.

  • Being Careful with Interactions and Comments

During divorce, there will be numerous opportunities to interact with and get into disputes with your ex. While it may be tempting to fight when the opportunity presents itself, doing so may not be in your or your case’s best interest. If you feel like seeing each other will lead to problems and increased conflict, do what you can to minimize contact.

You may also want to consider what you are posting on social media. As a society, we have become used to venting on social media platforms. However, as a general rule, it’s better to refrain from commenting about your case online. You may also need to be careful with comments you make about your ex in the presence of your kids. Your children are probably paying close attention to you and your conduct. Talking about the case or disparaging their other parent can be stressful and harmful for them. If you need to vent, call a friend or find another safe space to process your feelings. By keeping your comments away from the internet and your kids, you can keep added conflict out of your case. 

Contact a Wisconsin Divorce Attorney

Divorce can be stressful and complex, but there are ways you can help minimize conflict. If you are contemplating or are involved in a Wisconsin divorce, you will want to work with an experienced Wisconsin low-conflict divorce attorney. Your divorce lawyer can help you examine the issues and determine how to resolve disputes without unnecessary fighting and disputes.

Wisconsin Attorney and Mediator Karyn Youso of First Look Family Law is an attorney and Mediator with the experience you need to assist you with your Wisconsin divorce. If you have a divorce case in Metro Milwaukee, please contact us today and let us take a “first look” at your situation.